If you read Part 1 & 2 of Ditching the Mum Tum, this is where I hit my first hump in the road. I blew three months of good work attending classes at Motion Fitness, the moment we landed back in the UK for our eight-week summer holiday. It was great to re-connect with friends and family, but exhausting being the constant house guest, living out of a suitcase, moving every week, working throughout and tag-teaming with Roland to keep the kids entertained on the long school holiday. Healthy eating and exercise went out the window.
It was also an emotional trip, especially in Ireland. I think for a great many of us, going ‘home’ is not all roses. I had some wonderful reunions. I have some very inspiring people in my family. Sadly most of them where not around during my childhood and I sorely wish that they had been, but we cannot change the past. We can change our relationship to it though and this is something I realise I need to do because old hurt is so damn sticky! It can cast a shadow over the present and rear its head every time a similar relationship or experience arises. I am tired of this broken record. Different time, different person, same bloody dynamic! I get the feeling that no matter how much ‘work’ I do on myself and how adamant I am to rise above it, my psyche ‘control room’ will continue to regurgitate past experiences until I figure out a healthier way of coping and flick it to ‘done’ for good. For now I’m stuck in old patterns, which include seeking comfort in food and whatever else got me by as a child, but that doesn’t serve me so well now.
I gorged myself on all the foods I’d missed in Bali. Everyone we visited wanted to feed us tea and cake, scones and jam, cheese and wine. Initially, I was in heaven, but I grew increasingly frazzled and sluggish as the trip wore on. The week we flew back to Bali, we were presented with a beautiful box of cupcakes and I remember feeling sick (of the food and myself!) as I tried to force it down. The tide had turned. Before catching our flight back to Bali, I sprinted to to TK Maxx and bought myself three new exercise outfits & two new swimsuits to disguise my bulging tum and motivate me to get back in the game.
I would love to hear from anyone who’s experienced similar setbacks. How did you get back on track? How did you change old unhelpful behaviour patterns? Or have you experienced a ‘stuck record’ scenario? Did you find a way to release it?